“The Pause”

Today…

I stopped…

Just to sit under a tree.
To admire the sun
possibly feel a cool breeze.

I took a look
a lengthy look
at my placement in these sequence of events.
My passage of time.

I looked at the grass
saw the way it moved with the wind.
I spoke to “self”;
that’s how you need to be
in any situation.
Form flowing and willing,
firm but yielding.

*****

Even in the day time,
I seem to find myself
lurking around my dark confines.

I realize…
I don’t want anyone to see;
the weak, the clouded, the uncertain
Indecisive, vulnerable…
The frustrated, side of me…

I have attained too much to dwell on,
memorized one too many sad songs.

Matter of fact!

I don’t even know my destination.
I don’t know what I want anymore…
I`m lost in an ocean of plans;
with none being my own.

Certainly lost me…
Somewhere…
A long time ago.
What I have now.
Only a shell of someone I used to know.

What happened to goals;
what happened to inspiration,
what happened to wanting more;
Basic striving for?

Not just a backyard; but one with a pool.
I never forgot how to move.

forward…
I know…
Standing still is never;
“never” an option
I feel like the screen is playing…
No sound…
No caption…
I can’t read lips…
So i`m missing some of the action …

I don`t know what happened ?

© Da Absentee 2012

*****

The title and the first 5 lines, are actual events. It was exactly what I was doing at that moment in time. When I sat down to write. This one really wrote itself. This is one of those instances where as a human beings, we examine ourselves and attempt to figure out what we are really made of.  Even tho I am the one who placed these thoughts together, when I look over it again…

It really doesn’t feel like me…

As Always…

Stay Positive!

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