“Thoughts – 28”


There is remorse
in having to admit
The kinks in your armor
Any sign of weakness
Spilling of your soul
Something hurtful to confess
A spot of soft flesh.

Putting anything on the line
Out in the open
There are riddles
That should be left unspoken
Examples of not being

All you can be
How can you live with not being you
Truly…

Another one for the pile
Of interrogation
On the subject of…

“Who should I be?..”
© Da Absentee 2015
As Always…
Stay Positive!IMG_0244

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“Haven’t Succeeded”


I can’t talk to you…

.

Not for not wanting to talk to you 
Not for wanting to ignore you
It’s because of how much I have disappointed you.

.
What can I say that would make up…
the heartache 
The headache… 
I caused. 

.

I believe 
I deserve your love 
I haven’t shown you 
I deserve it.  

.
what can I do to show you …
I know how to love you right
I’m sorry…

.

I know this has not been easy. 
The stress. 
The ups and downs. 
Worrying about the bills 
Worrying about this life
worrying about me. 
.

asking me to spend time with you 
I haven’t.
Why 
I really don’t know why. 
I try and plan. Then something always comes up. 

.

Am I making excuses 
but this life…
it just is…
.
you deserve more than something small. 
can’t even give you that. 
Some grand gesture 
You don’t …
We don’t need all of that
I just want it to be sincere
Truth
Simple

I thought I could be the man you needed. 

It’s all in that last line…
Even though its just that…

I haven’t succeeded…
  .

© Da Absentee 2015

.

As Always…

.

Stay Positive!

“Thoughts – 27”


Everytime

It shouldnt work that way

It shouldnt work this way

Still here but bitter

Here with mine

Live with mine

Everytime

Im human

Make good ones make bad ones

Pulled myself thru my self made hell

Pieces placed together 

Bond or gel

Everytime.

Im trying to figure this life out

Figure what im about…

 

(c) Da Absentee 2015

As Always…

Stay Positive! 

 

“Realization”


What do i need

To remember who i am

my past has shown me a future

i wish to strive for

unearth

finding myself in a process

I’m torn

its not settling right

good / evil

my innards not properly lit

too many shadows

too many unfinished walls

concrete pits

shaky foundation

unstable

in one too many directions

I’m lost in it

the unsettling

it doesnt sit right

haunted by my life

I can tell its gone

I know

I didn’t love it right

© Da Absentee 2015

As Always…

Stay Positive!

“She’s Beautiful” Update


IN MY EMAIL TODAY!!

One of my followers dropped me a special gift. She recorded and sent me a copy of her version of “She’s Beautiful”

I am so honored and humbled by her showing her support. Proud; to feel that I have inspired someone with my words. Thanks Smitten!

You can connect and follow Smitten on her >> Blog Smitten’s Blog is 100% personal sharing her life as she sees fit. You are forewarned that she can have explicit material but it is totally worth your wild to be drawn into and share in her world.

So join me by giving her a SHOUTOUT!! On a job well done! You can listen to Smitten’s rendition in the player below!…

As Always…
Stay Positive!

She’s Beautiful…


Yes I am
An identity all my own.

I am X & Y

at the same time

Boxed by the ignorant, 

shallow minded and feeble

I have no self-esteem issues

Nothing wrong with me

Nothing wrong with the collection of things

I call “self”

self-concept

Nothing askew with my personality 

faults are in my environment 

I can 

I will 

rule the world

Positive 

Guide to the new century

The world is in its place 

where it needs to be

Revolving around me

They say I lost my “voice” 

To attract the boys 

Lost & misplaced myself  

to gain appeal

Stifling my opinions, interests & self worth 

We know 

I know 

esteem grows as I grow

I am far from fragile

Not conflicted

I am not fraud

Who dares to say “I… am worthless”

I am not ambivalent 

I have a higher moral resolve than all these boys

more ethical

I can express my opinions 

I share what I am thinking

Express what’s important to me

Essential to the blueprint of the future

Humankind

Share whats on my mind

I can be the cause of wars 

Transformed into a muse 

Suffered the timeless abuse

With a voice stronger than some 

Initial instinctual protection

I own my intelligence

Dabble in appearance 

That man can not produce

What I speak becomes truth

One day

They will look and say…

She’s beautiful…

© Da Absentee 2015

  
As Always…

Stay Positive!

Thoughts – 24


  
I’m really

Really 

trying to ground myself in reality

Keep telling me 

asking me 

whats wrong with me

Im solid im straight

What I need 

what I believe is 2 different things

I need my own peace. 

What I believe

We shouldn’t fall apart because of material

But material is what i need 

to continue to provide the cereal

The material is what provides the shelter

Material keeps the kids in school

Keep this internet and the cable 

you cant sit in this house without on.   

It keeps the car note paid 

Keeps the car on the road 

sorry if 

I’m caught up in the material thread

I’m sorry 

if it’s the only thing that’s filling my head

Bond and strength 

At this rate 

I might as well be dead…
 

© Da Absentee 2015

As Always…

Stay Positive!