“Silence That Destroys”


The little things seems to be the only thing that unravel our close knit seams

interrupt and dismantle our dreams

im at fault for my own uphill battle

it takes repetitve times 

to destroy something with a simple rattle

im at fault for my own uphill battle…
I stretch out my arms and remain silent

its killing us;

my silence…

is it right to be this way to detour the fights

I dont look forward to my nights

but I pray for my nights
in my city it barely rains

but when it pours;

it never drains

i stand in a rising puddle soon to be submerged

Im colliding with the action 

im unresponsive to the urge 

we cant communicate without throwing words…

  

As Always… 

Stay Positive!

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“Levels”


megaphone

 

Knock, knock knocking
faint
can you hear it
echoes
because its hollow inside
empty and not holding
like a kite which glides

knock, knock knocking
mellow
it permeates
the fleshy eardrum skin
can you hear the beat from within
adhesive to bass and strings

knock, knock knocking…
Normal
like dancing to speech
it is reserved
but always in reach
I am listening
I am your student
please teach

knock, knock knocking
loud
I need you to get here
excuses at this point
is nothing I want to hear
I know you know better
so do so with care

knock, knock knocking
screaming
when I see you
your dead
you hear…

© Da Absentee 2011

 

As Always…

Stay Positive!

“Tell You Why…”


What has happen since the beginning…
whatever it is
it’s different
now and then; back then;
all I wanted was more “intense” 
put anyone on the floor
feel you from a thousand miles away
to pick up the phone to say”I can hear when you thinking of me”

6th sense love
have it now…
yet

can’t find the rainbow;
can’t touch the pot of gold …Description changing

about to unfold,
become undone.
looking at it…
I “told” myself you were the one.I didn’t want to be fake,

so I threw my heart in & gave it my all
now i`m so engrossed…
I don’t, I know, I can’t fall…
For everyone’s sake.
I hold and support everything…
Who am I
degrade the work & blessings given to me…
my family?I have let it be known…

I don’t want to continue this.
Be a part of this life we have created…
I can’t tell you why…Why you love me so much;

I know you do…
I have transformed your being.
Even if you didn’t tell me
I knew
I`ve loved you how every woman needs
would want to be loved.
Turned your whole panoramic view around,
encouraged,
bared more than asked of me.I can’t tell you why?

If I want to be me…

Because nowadays
when I think of me
I don’t like me
matter of fact
I’m not even me
caught myself being fake to me
Can you tell me why?
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© Da Absentee 2011
As Always…
Stay Positive!

“Point Break”


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When did you arrive?
How did you arrive?
Did you boil?
Did you bubble up inside?
 
When is it enough?
How is it enough ?
Were you in denial?
Did it seem fake?
 
When did you learn?
How did you learn ?
Making the same mistakes…
Its become a choice.
 
Are you not the least concerned?
You say you hurt;
yet forward looks a lot like reverse.
You`ve been victimized…
By love and her cohorts.
 
So when is it quits?
When do you stop putting up with the shit?
When do you react for you?
take away its control
and get back to what’s best for you…
 
The act of only loving you….
© Da Absentee 2012
 
Sometimes we have to shake off the negative people and things in our lives. Sometimes we have to ask  “when is enough, enough?” When will we stop hurting ourselves to possibly make the negative better? How about making yourself better?
 
As Always…
 
Stay Positive!

“Is It Destined For…”


 
arguing
 
 
just as distant…
 
as old textbooks and encyclopedias on the shelves
asking… what else?
 
just to describe myself
finding out inside
is somewhere else…
 
it’s not the same on the outside…
 
here with me
I tell myself things
I truly don’t want to hear
don’t want to believe
after broken hearts
anger sparks
hot heads in cold beds
staring at the ceiling
trying to compromise
use these dealings
expressing flaws
drop jaws
wild-eyed and in awe
can this become what it was before?…
 
is it destined for
an edge; a cliff;
or  fall…
 
© Da Absentee 2012
 
*****
 
This site really is personal; for me anyway. I am no relationship guru. I experience things and then write about it. This is a reflection of one of those down points in a relationship when you question if it is really worth all the headache that it truly causes.
 
As Always…
 
Stay Positive!

“Thoughts On Family”


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They never bring smiles
frustration maybe
disapproval and frowns
backward thinking
havent seen that in a while
I know I do the same
sometimes…
hopefully that’s shrinking
unlike this page for inking
it brings an understanding
resentment and revelation
willing participation
it’s for this is why I took the vacation

© Da Absentee 2012

*****

I purposely moved far away from my family. It was everything negative that they had to bring that made me have to distance myself. I love them all the same. I am here if they need me, after all they are family. I love them for who they are, not for what I want them to be.

As Always…

Stay Positive!

“Not Having Enough”


Broken Glass
 
 see how and why the world falls apart ?
all I know, is that I have my “know”
I have my heart, my mind, my spirit
how else am I supposed to get through this life, this instant.
 
I don’t know what to call what you have
but its all you have
you have twisted it, made it your vice
I acknowledge
you’ve made yourself unable to sleep at night
you can’t and wont let go
because it’s all you have in life
I don’t know how to help you get it right
 
even if I tell you there is a problem
you say im wrong
if you tell me the problem
and I dare to agree?..
im still wrong
really…
this can’t go on
 
© Da Absentee 2012
 
*****
 
I am not different or special when it comes to having downtimes or upsets in life. When we make the commitment to share this life with another person we sometimes have fights. We  have confrontations. This is a representation of what one of those unpleasant but real conversations anyone in long relationships will have. When one disagrees with the other or you find yourself in a cycle that’s needs to be broken. Well I have been there. I have written about it.  I’m moving on…
 
As Always…
 
Stay Positive!