“Is It Destined For…”


 
arguing
 
 
just as distant…
 
as old textbooks and encyclopedias on the shelves
asking… what else?
 
just to describe myself
finding out inside
is somewhere else…
 
it’s not the same on the outside…
 
here with me
I tell myself things
I truly don’t want to hear
don’t want to believe
after broken hearts
anger sparks
hot heads in cold beds
staring at the ceiling
trying to compromise
use these dealings
expressing flaws
drop jaws
wild-eyed and in awe
can this become what it was before?…
 
is it destined for
an edge; a cliff;
or  fall…
 
© Da Absentee 2012
 
*****
 
This site really is personal; for me anyway. I am no relationship guru. I experience things and then write about it. This is a reflection of one of those down points in a relationship when you question if it is really worth all the headache that it truly causes.
 
As Always…
 
Stay Positive!

“Thoughts On Family”


cropped-wpheader1.jpg

They never bring smiles
frustration maybe
disapproval and frowns
backward thinking
havent seen that in a while
I know I do the same
sometimes…
hopefully that’s shrinking
unlike this page for inking
it brings an understanding
resentment and revelation
willing participation
it’s for this is why I took the vacation

© Da Absentee 2012

*****

I purposely moved far away from my family. It was everything negative that they had to bring that made me have to distance myself. I love them all the same. I am here if they need me, after all they are family. I love them for who they are, not for what I want them to be.

As Always…

Stay Positive!

“Not Having Enough”


Broken Glass
 
 see how and why the world falls apart ?
all I know, is that I have my “know”
I have my heart, my mind, my spirit
how else am I supposed to get through this life, this instant.
 
I don’t know what to call what you have
but its all you have
you have twisted it, made it your vice
I acknowledge
you’ve made yourself unable to sleep at night
you can’t and wont let go
because it’s all you have in life
I don’t know how to help you get it right
 
even if I tell you there is a problem
you say im wrong
if you tell me the problem
and I dare to agree?..
im still wrong
really…
this can’t go on
 
© Da Absentee 2012
 
*****
 
I am not different or special when it comes to having downtimes or upsets in life. When we make the commitment to share this life with another person we sometimes have fights. We  have confrontations. This is a representation of what one of those unpleasant but real conversations anyone in long relationships will have. When one disagrees with the other or you find yourself in a cycle that’s needs to be broken. Well I have been there. I have written about it.  I’m moving on…
 
As Always…
 
Stay Positive! 
 
 

“Thoughts – 18”


thoughts

Define touch from kiss
heaven to bliss
a metamorphosis

Enveloped in beat, ice cap heat
constant traffic to a good street
you weigh down; beat up
thought my choice words would be enough
I thought we already brought this up
moved on
we already sung this song

but her we go again
down these roads of indecision
I have really nothing more to say
I have said all I wanted to say
as for everything else I could say
i`ll hold my tongue

nothing good anyway
I pray  for rot for decay
every time we talk this way

im done
I just want to see progression
I don’t even know if I would like to speak
try to be discreet
maybe…
jus get up and move my feet

opposite direction
do you even realize
how frustrating this is for me
granted I know your demeanor
was undoubtedly caused by me
but from day one
I have dealt with transparency
like nothing… easily

we both put ourselves out there
we took a path that most wouldnt adhere
is it wrong to doubt even for a little bit
that this was wrong
can’t I fall victim to negative thinking
can I not be human
can I not look at other women 

just so we can focus
can I not have friends
my one and only…

its like you try to take so much from me
somethings are just as special
just as dear to me as you and me
how can you not be first
when everything else has to come after you

I tend to our family everyday
our needs our securities
I have no family without you 
friends in close proximity
but you accuse me
of putting others before you
I really don’t know what to do

this mud of us
I am stuck 
I am suffocated without anyone trying
applying to understand 
 I don’t understand

© Da Absentee 2011

*****
 
This should probably be called “Pages from my Diary” but I had said before that the “Thoughts” category would be filled with writings that are really me going through the motions of writing. To write. Sometimes I can’t write the next thing until I write these things that weigh heavy.
 
As Always…
 
Stay Positive!