Getting Nowhere

-unknown author-

On being a mother;

i shelter and protect, put there needs first

i lose myself and i lose respect.

this is how i became me

i am alone

so where has it gotten me

On being a wife

i gave him all of my life

i am a shadow of my former self

and he dares to tell me

i am not myself

this is how i became me

i am support

but where has it gotten me

On being a friend

i encourage and share my secrets with them

i lose trust and they unbalance my zen

and they say i act like

i am better than them

this is how i became me

i am therapist

but where has it gotten me

On being a co-worker

i work hard and play for the team

i get stepped on and passed over

i am depressed and never listened to

this is how i became me

i am angry

but where has it gotten me

On being me

I give the world a part of me

but i am shunned

and questioned, never given a second look

yet i give life, i give love

i think i am the lady, i am suppose to be

quiet, strong and forgiving

but with all this

this is how i became me

i am an unhappy me

but where has it gotten me?

©️Da Absentee 2011

“Perspective Change”

(Image found on Google added filter)

As Always…

Stay Positive!!


Scribbles – 12

“Even if you walk in darkness, you can still walk with light. Fight to never let it consume you. Never let that darkness put out your light.”

-Da Absentee-

“Thoughts – 28”

There is remorse
in having to admit
The kinks in your armor
Any sign of weakness
Spilling of your soul
Something hurtful to confess
A spot of soft flesh.

Putting anything on the line
Out in the open
There are riddles
That should be left unspoken
Examples of not being

All you can be
How can you live with not being you

Another one for the pile
Of interrogation
On the subject of…

“Who should I be?..”
© Da Absentee 2015
As Always…
Stay Positive!IMG_0244

Everywhere I Go…

Everywhere I go
No matter where I go
I know I take you with me…

wherever I go
no matter where I go
I know your here with me…

I live our memories
I carry you in my heart
wherever I go…

your always with me
everywhere I go
wherever I go…

unbeknownst the layers are thick
bloodline carry unique demographic

roads traveled; long
I don`t understand the words
automatic somethings we build on

heart in tune
the rhythm to my spine
I understand… undeniable time

working all day
with stress piling on
caffeinated drink in my hand
that’s not going cut it for too long
got you on my back telling me I’m wrong
feel like a slave
and I need me a song
cuz im here holding on
and with that said “I’m goin carry on”

you left me in the flames of the day light
knowing you weren’t going to extinguish me by night
seeking for at least one way to get right
but I`m alright

and I see and I know
i`m at peace with no fear
i`m ready to go
the devil is calling
my clock ticks slow
clouds ride and sit low…

everywhere i go…

© Da Absentee 2012

“Thoughts – 21”

I dont know when i hit rock bottom
but i know as the days go
it seems that i hit it more often
that pit in my stomach
the clog of my throat
the blood pressure
passing through my heart
the lost of…
feels like its ready to explode
out my chest
talking about grasping
Talking about suppressing
i find my therapy
anxiety fleshing a quandary
killing myself with prying
i dont even know if i`m dying
anger is next
one of the feelings i rarely get
i never let alot take me there
a duck in water
every and all things
need to run off my back
cant afford any extra weight
the hate
the despair
let it all wash me off
displace and disappear
I enjoy the dry air up here
to bad its so thin
no traveling
it cant take me somewhere
i’m trying to get far away
From this place that leads to nowhere…

(C) Da Absentee 2013



Clean page
blank slate
dont know how words form
but they end up in place

this life my life
2 wrongs after 1 right
so im moving
just in the wrong direction

i hold onto them
they make me feel
feel like me
only feeling that holds true to me

ive been in my own shadow
for too long
i dont know who I really am
pondering if i belong

they keep me sane
they give me hope
they help me withstand the fire
instead of disappear in smoke

i see light
i see dark
i see soul
i see flesh

Question is?!
Do I see myself?…

Da Absentee (c) 2012