You leave me in awe.

In disarray.

There is so much I would like to say.

There she goes
“oh boy, there she goes”
bad… and it shows
seen her dissect and cripple foes.

She`s what every man wants
“but does not know”
they all approach and leave dismembered
hearts trampled
“gone forever.”

She is perfect to say the least.
“She is beauty;”
but she is beast
driving possible suitors to the curb
she can destroy
only by the use of her words
“her speech”
“still…”
she is impeccable to me

she is strong…
She does not need my praise
“she is flawed”
still as much of a diamond
any woman can be
but she is not
“any woman”
“to me”

she can be a hearts desire
a cool ocean breeze
she is Kelvin…
“when we speak of degrees”
soft sweet serenade
on a sunny day
she is shade
your iced lemonade

she is earthy, whole, passionate, unrelenting
so she never folds
the answer to the question
“what is life”
yet she is cold

wet, blurry, howling as a stormy night
for every companion that would darken her door
attempt to enter her section
“to her…”
before they have even approached
they were the wrong selection

even tho righteous
she makes herself a treasure
they can not afford
they will
“can never be on her accord”
for she is a brick as tall and as long
as the eye can see
she is dangerous…
life taking
as a hurricane sea

she is what every man wants but does not know
she can turn you away as Alaskan waters chill to the bone
“she should not be alone”
but no companion
will ever be chose
she locks her heart
behind a door that will always be closed.

She sees it as protection…
“For the evil men may do”
one was guilty so all others are too
friends
are untrustworthy…
family has fallen short
“they’re nobody”
it seems like lies
that don’t hold up in court.

so maybe a gesture
of love and insecurity
will somehow
be introduced…
to brighten the day she doesn`t turn a possible love…

“away…”

© Da Absentee 2011

*********

As Always…

Stay Positive!

     That feeling …
that where do we go from here?
that how did we get here?
that how to get back to where we were?

Feels like you can’t even talk
can’t even speak
communication is obsolete
pull and find yourself a shell.

This is how you stay.
a great communicator
but only with what you have to say.

You push, argue and antagonize
keep each other on guard
never to compromise
you close your eyes.

Try to create and find
wanting escapes
because your trapped in life
also caged in your mind.

Using the allure of fantasy
helps keep you sane
holding onto sanity
are you understanding…

It’s not the fact that you don’t comprehend
matter of fact you relate
that this is…
what it is…

Just once in your life
you are going to lose a friend
you can’t even pinpoint the need for separation feeling.

That falling apart
that growing apart
your together
yet traveling apart.

When you hit the dark
that wall
that stifling feeling
that only you are seeing.

You take and hold
affirm and conform
those insults
don`t even chip the others rock hard form.

Their emotionless fortress
nothing you throw
really hits its mark anymore
especially when done in negativity.

Your comparisons
of trying to make others see their wrong
always go wrong
trying to make them feel small.

You’re just weak…
they are strong
this couldn’t happen
for and with you.

Lost the long for their touch
still can’t resist their touch
yes you love them this much
mind stays running this much.

Your done
your confusing
if you focus
you could get this right.

But what’s the use
you don’t want your nights
or your future
much less a real reason
to get it right…

© Da Absentee 2012

*****

Well there are a lot of emotions wrapped up in this one. Sometimes we get so lost in the day-to-day that just the little things, after building up can just cause a massive breakdown of your infrastructure. Being married in a relationship and living and trying to cope with this life, really takes a toll on everybody included. The point is never to get to the point of where this piece has taken. Where you have given up and don’t want to struggle, find or continue. You don’t ever want to get to “that feeling”.

As Always…

Stay Positive!

In this dumbfounded…
scattered architecture damaged

lost in the focus
lost in the magic
lost in the hocus pocus
scum of the earth…
roaches

my opinion of this dilemma
what dilemma?.?.

I mean purpose

searched in vain
since then plastered my spot
in-step
no map
no g.p.s.

research then analyze work
compare the abstract
unreasonable…
finding my place…
depth

how I got here,
no clue
no one guiding on what to do

had good company
told me to
do what I do
with no data to compare to

this life
dangerous roads
even with no turns
yet constant yearn
draws into the feeling
churn…

darkened eyes, numb body
frozen brain
brings you to associate
and become deaths friend
perched on a ledge
contemplating death
tipsy leaning…
stealing the air
from my swollen chest…

© Da Absentee 2011

*****

A moment of trying to figure out what this life is really about… What is my purpose there in… Not being in the best of moods.

As Always..

Stay Positive!

As my islands rise
from ocean, from salt
polyps and lime
so do I…
My love is how
I try
though thin
and not the best
my world is like no one else…
Some take root to add
some come to slash and burn
which only lasts for so long…
Some bring their own soil
to add up on
we are void, my isle and me
Only childhood memories
truly consistent to me
fruit trees, mango to sapadilly…
Sea grape to lime,
coconuts was like throwing pearl to swine
cherries and june plum,
grapefruit to scarlet plum.
Yellow plum and guinep
I remember hurricane winds
roaming through these trees
breadfruit and ackee
dashed away lemons on lemons
sour orange and sour sop
down to the cherries and tomatoes
pineapple to coco plum
thinking of it
I could taste my archipelago…
I miss my home so
I can smile tho…
for it’s in my heart
with me
Wherever I go!

© Da Absentee 2012

*****

Growing up in the islands was such an enlightening thing for me. I would not know what I would be without it. I haven’t travelled home in a long time I think it’s high time I make a trip. Even if it’s just to sit at the beach with my feet in the sand.

As Always…

Stay Positive!

I recall when it was new, marble base, crystal waters you could see through. That new in love, that  can’t get enough of. It would radiate in the sun and moon beams, growing momentum. Nothing between.

Giving life and besting the weather. Easily unsullied with a fraction of attention \ affection. A little love and hard times seemed to disappear. Just like they were never there, never seen. Getting back up, no matter how much you fall. At the ready; to answer the call.

No longer shifting, no reason to mingle. Heavy laden with dirt, moss and grime. It does not flow, much less sprinkle. Chipped, broken and beaten. No longer sharing, no longer giving.

A tomb for the ones with a lost for living…

© Da Absentee 2012

*****

What we can become when love goes bad…

As Always…

Stay Positive!