change negative
crossover zero
show the future how to live
shine like lighthouses
in the depth of night
work hard on improving whats wrong
by any means
above and proceed
stay positive…
Is the only thing I choose to plant as a seed
Author Archives: Da Absentee
0 – What I Don’t Know
The answers to the questions of my world lie within these pages
within these lines, within another time
I can`t answer or find them now
these choice words are just being written
in mass confusion, in a mask of confusion
I lock my heart expeditiously,
I make nothing seen; I don’t leave a mark that would betray me
I see the monsters, see the monster
the one I created… in turn created me
I am what I think… I think to create…
Life is too short
to dwell on
from and through my mistakes
must adapt, must move on
consider new states
these words, these lines
my escape…
© Da Absentee 2014
As Always…
Stay Positive!
5 – Scribbles – 2
That sexed sweetly specific glow
Body washed, dried, pressed & folded look
Neatly dirty & cleaned
That glow that those who know
Just know
Ask you about the glow
Your eyes tell truth and the lies
5 – Scribbles – 37
you left me in the flames of the day light
knowing you weren’t going to extinguish me by night
seeking for at least one way to get right
I see and I know
I’m at peace with the no
i stay ready to go
the devil is calling
my clock ticks slow – falling
clouds ride and sit low, your rain stalling
0 – Lost
Wanting to be better
that’s why we see people like this – therapist
hash out emotions rarely spoken
hash out feelings off base from token
“lost…”
I wish I was joking
I see walls being broken
using sleep to escape depression
using work to get out aggression
cautious walking in “my own state of minds” library section
how did I get here…
little recollection
lost in moments of self inspection
lost in the instances
lost in the seconds
is there any detection – “any misdirection?”
searching for a glimpse of connection
lost in a warm Colorado breeze
lost in its seclusion – “lost in my own illusion”
lost because I don’t care
is this getting somewhere
do the eyes on the other side
even comprehend with this share
“lost”
because I purposely left myself out there…
© Da Absentee 2012
*****
This is a reminder to myself. The mood captured in this is the reason I end every post with Stay Positive.
The negative is always right around the corner…
As Always…
Stay Positive!
0 – Ahead
Traveling to a bridge
half way across this bridge
realize the foundation is paper
certified – stamped – engineered – proceed
continue at some prescribed prior speed
before stepping off the bridge
remember what was taught
what was experienced
What was said
take those final steps
so that you can embark on the new road ahead
© Da Absentee 2012 revised 2024
*****
One look at life…
As Always…
Stay Positive!
2 – I Can’t Tell You Why
“What has happened since the beginning…”
whatever it is
it’s different
it’s different
now and then; back then;
all I wanted was more “intense”
put anyone on the floor
feel you from a thousand miles away
to pick up the phone to say
feel you from a thousand miles away
to pick up the phone to say
“I can hear when you thinking of me”
6th sense love
have it now…
yet I can’t find the rainbow;
have it now…
yet I can’t find the rainbow;
can’t touch the pot of gold …
All of the descriptions are changing
everything about to unfold,
become undone.
looking at it…
looking at it…
I “told” myself you were the one.
I didn’t want to be fake,
so I threw my heart in & gave it my all
now i`m so engrossed…
I don’t, I know, I can’t fall…
For everyone’s sake.
I hold and support everything…
“Who am I to degrade the work & blessings given to me…”
my family? I have let it be known…
I don’t want to continue this.
Be a part of this life we have created…
I can’t tell you why…
Why you love me so much;
I know you do…
I have transformed your being.
Even if you didn’t tell me
“I knew”
I`ve loved you how every woman needs
how “I believe” one would want to be loved.
Turned your whole panoramic view around,
encouraged,
bared more than asked of me.
I can’t tell you why?
“Do I want to be me…”
Because nowadays
when I think of me
I don’t like me
neglected parts
matter of fact
“I’m not even me”
caught myself being fake to me
Can you tell me why?
© Da Absentee 2011 revised 2024
As Always…
Stay Positive!
9 – Scribbles – 26
glasses broken
the universe disturbed
in my distance unheard
still to be firm
some things can not gain my concern
some things should only be used to learn
2 – Promised
I to you
plans to unfold
stability
infinite as mathematics
traceable with repeat-ability
someone to confide
dreams, secrets, aspirations
appreciate your dark-side
understand who you are
inside
not bound
by law or regulation
I to you
stand and stick by you
there to our end
as shadows…
complementing instruments
an ensemble…
friends
I promise now – promised then
if it comes down to it
or ever forgotten
I’ll remind and promise it
again…
© Da Absentee 2011 revised 2024
As Always…
Stay Positive!
9 – Who Are You Really
your life is not suppose to be this hard?
really?..
who said it was supposed to be easy?
who said everything is going to go as planned?
matter of fact!
who told you, you were going to get everything you want?
who are you to ask for more than you need?
what work have you put in?
where is your provisions?
where have you paid dues?
what makes you think you can fill someone else shoes?
just because you think & say you want to…
© Da Absentee 2013
As Always…
Stay Positive!
8 – Mother
I survey the scene
one like this doesn’t take hours to make
this is dedication and planning
a labor of love that’s too demanding
too fierce
too free
she needs some restriction
because this is crazy…
I told her that she needs to downsize
she just laughed at me
christmas all year
and you’re not a christmas store
the floor like this
this is a hoard
a stash
decorations and bows
wreaths and garlands
curtains and china…
talk about service
she could cater the democrat
and republican conventions
all on the same night
the collection of silverware and plates
enormous…
this can’t be sane
half the time
I never plan on staying for more than 4 nights
its move this
pack this
place this here
did you run the errands
and my tools
they around here somewhere…
she have the house so done up
it’s more like bound to me
boxes and chairs
mattresses and don’t you dear forget
the christmas trees
of her own creation
her own application
and methodic fabrication
2 ten foot
2 eight foot
2 six-foot
strategically placed…
decorated and laden
to the T
don’t mess with this woman
when she is in the zone
she is a robot
a drone
if she could
you would marvel at what this almost 70-year-old
could do
on her own
the woman has no fear…
I stand and hate
but admire the clutter I see
how can I just ignore this woman
she has done so much for me
i`m glad she’s my mother
but this unbelievable
sometimes senseless hobby
has to cease…
.
Da Absentee © 2011
*****
I normally don’t put people in my family into writing, but sometimes it’s the only thing i can do. She has a problem that no one else wants to call her on. (talking about my siblings) I have told her it’s a waste. No one is going to continue this after she’s gone. It’s time to leave it alone.
As Always…
Stay Positive!
0 – Thoughts – 22
As my years seem to go by
I look in the reflection to smirk
battled far, battled long
I fight hard and seem to always carry a song
sometimes that seems to strike me empty
I miss my love
wish I had more family to share my love
I have been torn, broken
it seems I was always on a track
to be outspoken from the clan
I see my brother
don’t understand how he went wrong
I speak to my sister,
I just wanna shake her
scream at her “whats wrong?”
We all can’t be the same line
that my parents, who love to say they spent money on
I laugh,
I really have lost the lust for it
too bad the thing about my birthdays
as far as I can remember
I have always felt solemn like this
© Da Absentee 2012 revised 2024
“As Always…. Stay Positive!”
Birthday: 3/9
9 – I’m Goin Carry On
unbeknownst the layers are thick
bloodline carry unique demographic
long roads traveled
I don`t understand the words of this world
automatic somethings we build on with quiet things heard
heart in tune
the rhythm to my spine
I understand… undeniable time
working all day with stress piling on
caffeinated drink in my hand
that’s not going cut it for too long
got you on my back telling me I’m wrong
a servant need of a song
however i’m here holding on…
“I’m goin carry on”
© Da Absentee 2024
“As Always…. Stay Positive!”
1 – Everywhere I Go
Everywhere I go
No matter where I go
I know I take you with me…
wherever I go
no matter where I go
I know you are here with me…
I live our memories
I carry you in my heart
wherever I go…
you are always with me
everywhere I go
wherever I go…
everywhere i go…
© Da Absentee 2012 revised 2024
5 – Fill My Drift
These days
my thoughts always drift to you. Imagining how you feel.
The right courses of touch.
Your taste and how I could touch.
Bask in the details
and the curves of your tail.
Floating on air of in/exhale.
How to lead you to bliss.
These are the only things that nowadays…
fill my drift…
© Da Absentee 2014 revised 2024
As Always…
Stay positive!
2 – For What It’s Worth
For what it’s worth
I think I was put here to save your life
it may have been a hell of a ride
i probably have too many things to reconcile
but it was worth it
for what it’s worth
i gave love that you refuse to acknowledge or comprehend
its worth every ounce because it wasn’t pretend
i wasn’t with you forever
but that love will be with you until your end
for what it’s worth
if you know better do better
everyone can’t be lead actor and/or director
and for what it’s worth
some words shouldn’t…
Can`t…
Be on the same page together
© Da Absentee 2012 revised 2024
9 – Thoughts – 23
Feather brained
sewn and laid
attempting to hone
fortify home
sun grained
trapped in a spotlight
only turned off by night
full rotation
heart quiet
but pacing
soft breeze
blow blades of grass
this should be home
before I past…
©Da Absentee 2012
As Always…
Stay Positive!
2 – Silence That Destroys
The little things; seems to be the only things
that unravel our close knit seams
interrupt and dismantle our dreams
i’m at fault for my own uphill battles
it takes repetitive times to destroy something with a simple rattle
i’m at fault… for my own uphill battle…
I stretch my arms to the heavens and remain silent
it’s killing us;
my silence…
is it right to be this way to detour the fights
I don’t look forward to my nights
but I pray for my nights
in my city it rarely rains
but when it pours; it never drains
i stand in a rising pool; to be submerged
Im colliding with the action
im unresponsive to the urge
we can’t communicate without throwing words…
© Da Absentee 2015 revised 2024
As Always…
Stay Positive!
