2 – Silence That Destroys

Posted on by

The little things; seems to be the only things

that unravel our close knit seams

interrupt and dismantle our dreams

i’m at fault for my own uphill battles

it takes repetitive times to destroy something with a simple rattle

i’m at fault… for my own uphill battle…

I stretch my arms to the heavens and remain silent

it’s killing us;

my silence…

is it right to be this way to detour the fights

I don’t look forward to my nights

but I pray for my nights

in my city it rarely rains

but when it pours; it never drains

i stand in a rising pool; to be submerged

Im colliding with the action

im unresponsive to the urge

we can’t communicate without throwing words…

© Da Absentee 2015 revised 2024

As Always…

Stay Positive!

2 – Thoughts – 24

Posted on by

IMG_0299

I’m really

Really

trying to ground myself in reality

Keep telling me

asking me

whats wrong with me

Im solid, im straight

What I need

what I believe is 2 different things

I need my own peace.

What I believe

We shouldn’t fall apart because of material

But material is what i need

to continue to provide the cereal

The material is what provides the shelter

Material keeps the kids in school

Keep this internet and the cable

you can’t sit in this house without on.

It keeps the car note paid

Keeps the car on the road

sorry if

I’m caught up in the material thread

I’m sorry

if it’s the only thing that’s filling my head

Bond and strength

At this rate

I might as well be dead…

© Da Absentee 2015 revised 2024

As Always…

Stay Positive!

6 – She’s Beautiful

Posted on by

dplogo

Yes I am
An identity all my own.

I am X & Y

at the same time

Boxed by the ignorant,

shallow minded and feeble

I have no self-esteem issues

Nothing wrong with me

Nothing wrong with the collection of things

I call “self”

self-concept

Nothing askew with my personality

faults are in my environment

I can

I will

rule the world

Positive

Guide to the new century

The world is in its place

where it needs to be

Revolving around me

They say I lost my “voice”

To attract the boys

Lost & misplaced myself

to gain appeal

Stifling my opinions, interests & self worth

We know

I know

esteem grows as I grow

I am far from fragile

Not conflicted

I am not fraud

Who dares to say “I… am worthless”

I am not ambivalent

I have a higher moral resolve than all these boys

more ethical

I can express my opinions

I share what I am thinking

Express what’s important to me

Essential to the blueprint of the future

Humankind

Share what’s on my mind

I can be the cause of wars

Transformed into a muse

Suffered the timeless abuse

With a voice stronger than some

Initial instinctual protection

I own my intelligence

Dabble in appearance

That man can not produce

What I speak becomes truth

One day

They will look and say…

She’s beautiful…

© Da Absentee 2015

As Always…

Stay Positive!

9 – Thoughts – 25

Posted on by

IMG_0299

Life is constantly always something new

New hurdle or obstacle

New blemish or spot

New fork or path

Always a new place to go

We can never expect the smooth

Always looking or living in the rough

The things that escape or get away from us…
© Da Absentee 2015 revised 2024

As Always…

Stay Positive!

9 – Thoughts – 26

Posted on by

thoughts

It all passes. The realization of it all. This life is a walking, living contradiction battle. A duality lesson. Everything is real & fake at the same time. So…

I take this ride every now and then. When I close my eyes momentarily, I steal moments. Stealing moments from the reality I have constructed; stealing moments from everything as they steal my moments…

We do this dance of real & fake. Tit for tat. I hit you, you hit me back. Just enough, insuring that we are not lost. I’m pretty sure I have paid some piper. All that he is owed. He has given all he could show…

Doing this gives unusual discomfort. What should be the use of my time?…

I claim I am man. I claim I am who I am…

Yet still…

I claim to be so much more. I want…

I need…

So much more than before…

© Da Absentee 2015 revised 2024

As Always…

Stay Positive!

2 – Golden

Posted on by

Silent behind 4 walls
sunrise, cool night breeze lingers in the window.
eventful day, schedule shows
first
back & forth silhouettes erode
breakfast, clean and launder clothes
buttery eggs with toast on salty lips
days off
no face
no clock ticks
work indoors as the day glows
some skin exposed.
Turning
transition clears
turns
you turn me…
we clean
every which way
reflection cleaner to class the day
you’re in solid form
almost norm
fluff all the right places
just my height
just my taste
you know you just my shape
fruit salad
your just my plate
wait…
landscape…
wax. polish. spit. shine.
with a slow song written all over your face
back to the salad
green tart grapes
easy music listening
dishes sparkling
shot-in gin
on a lazy day
stirred not shake-in
regular wash
hardly starched
don’t need you done up
just lightly dressed
sandals, panties, bra, worn sundress
not going nowhere so you can skip the rest
hints and quips
never speech
silent but understood
bending. sweeping. standing on feet.
I just stare…
everything else ..
obsolete
smell of fresh clean laundry fills the air
kid searching…
find them nowhere
just me & you
you & me
I & you
you & I
lovely how the time turtles by
quick snack
20 minute adult nap
barter nick knacks
warm popsicle for a hot snatch
then calibrate the rest of the day
just to relax.
sun floats down
while the night falls
and finally we drift
silent
behind 4 walls…

Da Absentee © 2011

**********

When I wrote this, I was in the middle of  a mini vacation where it so happen that the wife and I were able to spend the day alone. without the kids “enjoying ourselves”.

Check out the audio link below >>

SoundCloud: “Golden”

 

6 – She’s Beautiful – update

Posted on by

IN MY EMAIL TODAY!!

One of my followers dropped me a special gift. She recorded and sent me a copy of her version of “She’s Beautiful”

I am so honored and humbled by her showing her support. Proud; to feel that I have inspired someone with my words. Thanks Smitten!

You can connect and follow Smitten on her >> Blog <<

Smitten’s Blog is 100% personal sharing her life as she sees fit. You are forewarned that she can have explicit material but it is totally worth your wild to be drawn into and share in her world.

So join me by giving her a SHOUTOUT!! On a job well done! You can listen to Smitten’s rendition in the player below!…

As Always…
Stay Positive!

0 – Realization

Posted on by

⬇️To remember who i am

My past has shown me a future

Finding myself in a process

I’m torn

It’s not settling right

Good & evil

My innards not properly lit

Too many shadows

Too many unfinished walls

Concrete pits

Shaky foundation

Unstable

In one too many directions

I’m lost in it

The unsettling

It doesn’t sit right

Haunted by my life

I can tell it’s gone

I know

I didn’t love it right

(now read line by line bottom to top)⬆️

© Da Absentee 2015 revised 2024

The words on this one just lays out nicely both ways… (this is not a palindrome)

As Always…

Stay Positive!

9 – Thoughts – 27

Posted on by

thoughts

Everytime. I think about this life

It shouldn’t work that way

It shouldn’t work this way

Still here but bitter. all the time

Here with mine (decisions)

Live with mine (decisions)

Everytime. I tell myself.

Im human.

Make good ones make bad ones (decisions)

Pulled myself thru my-self made hell

This life I pieces / placed together

Everytime.

I’m trying to figure this life out

Figure what I am about…

It’s truly time…

© Da Absentee 2015 revised 2024

As Always…

Stay Positive!

0 – Welcoming The End

Posted on by

I have grown or lived to my potential. ✨

As I am leaving this life; In my last moments I think about the world and what it has become.

I think of the things my elders have said and no matter how much I tried to ignore what they said.

I find myself quoting what they said. 🤦‍♂️

I think of my life. The good and bad and what it cost me to live the way I did.

The world has become so off track with what we as humans really need.

I am dying, the world is dying.

I already know that everything must come to an end, even me.

As I fade and enter eternal sleep…

©️Da Absentee 2024

⚱️ I have never feared death and never understood the desire to avoid it. It has always been clear to me that we all will face death, something beyond our control and inevitable for everyone. There are no exceptions, so why do some of us dread it?

As Always…

Stay Positive!

✨✨

0 – Slipping Away

Posted on by

Grown to a limit
Til out of sight
Disappointment
Cricket speaks; nothing comes cheap

Even if you don’t agree
Your story; my story is complete
We are lost
World no longer at our feet

Listen to it
The heartbeat
Slowing every minute
Sooner no later
Stops… fades

Pre-planned to disappear
Disperse, deceased, gone
No more together
No more alone
No more you or me
Peace…

Tranquility

© Da Absentee 2011 revised 2024

As Always…

Stay Positive!

2 – Haven’t Succeeded

Posted on by

I can’t talk to you…

Not for not; wanting to talk to you
Not for wanting to ignore you
It’s how much I have disappointed you.

What can I say that would make up…
The heartache; The headache. I caused.

I believe; I deserve your love
I haven’t shown you;  I deserve your love.

What can I do to show you…
I know how to love you right…
I’m sorry…

I know this has not been easy.
The stress; the ups and downs.
Worrying about the bills. Worrying about this life.
Worrying about me.

Time not spending time with you.
I just haven’t.
Why?
I really don’t know why. I try and plan. Something comes up.

Am I making excuses with this about this life…
This life just is.

You deserve more than something small.
I couldn’t even give you that.
You don’t; we don’t need all of that
I just want it to be sincere
Truth & Simple & Rare

I thought I could be the man you needed. 

It’s all in that last line…
Even though it’s just that…

I haven’t succeeded…

© Da Absentee 2015 revised 2024

As Always…

Stay Positive!

0 – Thoughts – 28

Posted on by

thoughts

There is remorse in having to admit
The kinks in your armor are signs of weakness
Spilling out from your soul
Something hurtful to confess, A spot of soft flesh.

Putting everything on the line, putting “you” out in the open
You tell yourself these are riddles; that should be left unspoken.

Can you live with not being you. Truly…

Another ism or thing for the pile added to your self interrogation
On the subject or the mystery…

“Who Should I Be?..”

© Da Absentee 2015 revised 2024

As Always…
Stay Positive!