Happy… Forever…


When I first sat down to write this I thought “Oh this is going to be easy!” All I have to do is tell my thoughts to the world and wish them a happy life.

Then it hit me “When you say it like that..” It seems easy enough, but to actually pick and assemble the best set of words and thoughts to say all of that in like 3 minutes. That’s when it gets a little bit harder. How could I… I mean really grasp what I wanted to say.

Praise, Acknowledgement, Family, Commitment and Love in a couple of paragraphs. How could I assure everyone who reads this; to let them know that through the trials, hard times and just life in general; that marriage is a good decision for both parties, that this is how it is meant to be. That “Love can conquer all”  it just needs respect & reverence to keep it in line. To be able to tell newlyweds that this is a symbol, a contract, unyielding and completely binding. A true test of forever.

Some people could never share and discuss their lives with friends like they can family. Now when I say family, I mean there’s no way you can deny this person of being who they are to you. When you say loyal, supportive, stubborn, a down right pain in the ….,  someone to never skimp words and always tell you when your wrong or right, stand by you in a fight. To always be there even if you can’t see them, just like the stars at night. You can always depend on them to be who he or she is and to follow through.

I know sometimes; more importantly in today’s world, that this can turn into a fling or some disillusionment.

Teams that take these steps are centuries of mankind trying to come together for a definitive purpose. To finally see them coming together to make a statement in front of their family and friends. Where they make history with a rite of passage and celebration. To hold each other so dear and close. This was always down the road, and everyone here knows that this is not the easy way out. So as these and many more of the memories to come and linger on for years I wish the world a strong and healthy life.

Marriage is dedication, the battling of life together. It is poetry. It is love songs. The union can be dreams. Reality and fantasy… Bonded, together… In my opinion…

Happy… Forever…

As Always…

Stay Positive!

“Realization”


What do i need

To remember who i am

my past has shown me a future

i wish to strive for

unearth

finding myself in a process

I’m torn

its not settling right

good / evil

my innards not properly lit

too many shadows

too many unfinished walls

concrete pits

shaky foundation

unstable

in one too many directions

I’m lost in it

the unsettling

it doesnt sit right

haunted by my life

I can tell its gone

I know

I didn’t love it right

© Da Absentee 2015

As Always…

Stay Positive!

Everywhere I Go…


Everywhere I go
No matter where I go
I know I take you with me…

wherever I go
no matter where I go
I know your here with me…

I live our memories
I carry you in my heart
wherever I go…

your always with me
everywhere I go
wherever I go…

unbeknownst the layers are thick
bloodline carry unique demographic

roads traveled; long
I don`t understand the words
automatic somethings we build on

heart in tune
the rhythm to my spine
I understand… undeniable time

working all day
with stress piling on
caffeinated drink in my hand
that’s not going cut it for too long
got you on my back telling me I’m wrong
feel like a slave
and I need me a song
cuz im here holding on
and with that said “I’m goin carry on”

you left me in the flames of the day light
knowing you weren’t going to extinguish me by night
seeking for at least one way to get right
but I`m alright

and I see and I know
i`m at peace with no fear
i`m ready to go
the devil is calling
my clock ticks slow
clouds ride and sit low…

everywhere i go…

© Da Absentee 2012

“My Mother – 1”


scene

 

I survey the scene

one like this doesn’t take hours to make

this is dedication and planning

a labor of love that’s too demanding

too fierce

too free

she needs some restriction

because this is crazy…

I told her that she needs to downsize

she just laughed at me

christmas all year

and you’re not a christmas store

the floor like this

this is a hoard

a stash

decorations and bows

wreaths and garlands

curtains and china…

talk about service

she could cater the democrat

and republican conventions

all on the same night

the collection of silverware and plates

enormous…

this can’t be sane

half the time

I never plan on staying for more than 4 nights

its move this

pack this

place this here

did you run the errands

and my tools

they around here somewhere…

she have the house so done up

its more like bound to me

boxes and chairs

mattresses and  don’t you dear forget

the christmas trees

of her own creation

her own application

and methodic fabrication

2 ten foot

2 eight foot

2 six-foot

strategically placed…

decorated and laden

to the T

don’t mess with this woman

when she is in the zone

she is a robot

a drone

if she could

you would marvel at what this almost 70-year-old

could do

on her own

the woman has no fear…

I stand and hate

but admire the clutter I see

how can I just ignore this woman

she has done so much for me

i`m glad she` s my mother

but this unbelievable

sometimes senseless hobby

has to cease…

.

Da Absentee © 2011

*****

I really don’t put people in my family into writing, but sometimes it’s the only thing i can do. She has a problem that no one else wants to call her on. (talking about my siblings) I have told her it’s a waste. No one is going to continue this after she’s gone. It’s time to leave it alone.

As Always…

Stay Positive!

“On Being Family”


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Much to say
being who we are
thick water
sons, daughters
protectors and friends

know how and when
not where it ends
time never separate bonds
no matter
how colorful or rude
it’s who you are

we love for who we are
not what we want each other to be

don’t have to talk
to understand
good plus rough
situations
we don’t need solutions
just an attentive ear

on being family
just know
I am here
thankful to be blessed
by all your years
it would not be the same
without you here

like any occasion
we get together
to celebrate or mourn
it’s the time together
that keeps the heart warm

© Da Absentee 2011

*****

I really don’t write about my family much. Even tho I know I owe them the most for how my brain works and how I view things in my life. If it wasnt for them I would not be me; but in my latter life I distanced myself from them. This is just to say I love them no matter how it may seem. It is not what it looks like.

As Always…

Stay Positive!

“Thoughts On Family”


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They never bring smiles
frustration maybe
disapproval and frowns
backward thinking
havent seen that in a while
I know I do the same
sometimes…
hopefully that’s shrinking
unlike this page for inking
it brings an understanding
resentment and revelation
willing participation
it’s for this is why I took the vacation

© Da Absentee 2012

*****

I purposely moved far away from my family. It was everything negative that they had to bring that made me have to distance myself. I love them all the same. I am here if they need me, after all they are family. I love them for who they are, not for what I want them to be.

As Always…

Stay Positive!

“Thoughts – 18”


thoughts

Define touch from kiss
heaven to bliss
a metamorphosis

Enveloped in beat, ice cap heat
constant traffic to a good street
you weigh down; beat up
thought my choice words would be enough
I thought we already brought this up
moved on
we already sung this song

but her we go again
down these roads of indecision
I have really nothing more to say
I have said all I wanted to say
as for everything else I could say
i`ll hold my tongue

nothing good anyway
I pray  for rot for decay
every time we talk this way

im done
I just want to see progression
I don’t even know if I would like to speak
try to be discreet
maybe…
jus get up and move my feet

opposite direction
do you even realize
how frustrating this is for me
granted I know your demeanor
was undoubtedly caused by me
but from day one
I have dealt with transparency
like nothing… easily

we both put ourselves out there
we took a path that most wouldnt adhere
is it wrong to doubt even for a little bit
that this was wrong
can’t I fall victim to negative thinking
can I not be human
can I not look at other women 

just so we can focus
can I not have friends
my one and only…

its like you try to take so much from me
somethings are just as special
just as dear to me as you and me
how can you not be first
when everything else has to come after you

I tend to our family everyday
our needs our securities
I have no family without you 
friends in close proximity
but you accuse me
of putting others before you
I really don’t know what to do

this mud of us
I am stuck 
I am suffocated without anyone trying
applying to understand 
 I don’t understand

© Da Absentee 2011

*****
 
This should probably be called “Pages from my Diary” but I had said before that the “Thoughts” category would be filled with writings that are really me going through the motions of writing. To write. Sometimes I can’t write the next thing until I write these things that weigh heavy.
 
As Always…
 
Stay Positive!