Thinking…


These thoughts I have

Everyday.

See different light

Can you compose a scene in light /bright colors

Yet call the finish product “a dark night”?….

These thoughts I had are ever changing.

If i complain “with” facts.

Cant that be called “blaming”?…

These thoughts i wish to have.

Of good times with a smoother path.

Every night.

The drive to get there

Could ultimately cut my “living” in half…

These thoughts; all these thoughts

Hold me down

Conform with gravity

Keep my feet on the ground

Fighter for a rematch…

See you next time around…

©️Da Absentee 2019

As Always…

Stay Positive!

Getting Nowhere


-unknown author-

On being a mother;

i shelter and protect, put there needs first

i lose myself and i lose respect.

this is how i became me

i am alone

so where has it gotten me

On being a wife

i gave him all of my life

i am a shadow of my former self

and he dares to tell me

i am not myself

this is how i became me

i am support

but where has it gotten me

On being a friend

i encourage and share my secrets with them

i lose trust and they unbalance my zen

and they say i act like

i am better than them

this is how i became me

i am therapist

but where has it gotten me

On being a co-worker

i work hard and play for the team

i get stepped on and passed over

i am depressed and never listened to

this is how i became me

i am angry

but where has it gotten me

On being me

I give the world a part of me

but i am shunned

and questioned, never given a second look

yet i give life, i give love

i think i am the lady, i am suppose to be

quiet, strong and forgiving

but with all this

this is how i became me

i am an unhappy me

but where has it gotten me?

©️Da Absentee 2011

“Perspective Change”

(Image found on Google added filter)

As Always…

Stay Positive!!

Happy… Forever…


When I first sat down to write this I thought “Oh this is going to be easy!” All I have to do is tell my thoughts to the world and wish them a happy life.

Then it hit me “When you say it like that..” It seems easy enough, but to actually pick and assemble the best set of words and thoughts to say all of that in like 3 minutes. That’s when it gets a little bit harder. How could I… I mean really grasp what I wanted to say.

Praise, Acknowledgement, Family, Commitment and Love in a couple of paragraphs. How could I assure everyone who reads this; to let them know that through the trials, hard times and just life in general; that marriage is a good decision for both parties, that this is how it is meant to be. That “Love can conquer all”  it just needs respect & reverence to keep it in line. To be able to tell newlyweds that this is a symbol, a contract, unyielding and completely binding. A true test of forever.

Some people could never share and discuss their lives with friends like they can family. Now when I say family, I mean there’s no way you can deny this person of being who they are to you. When you say loyal, supportive, stubborn, a down right pain in the ….,  someone to never skimp words and always tell you when your wrong or right, stand by you in a fight. To always be there even if you can’t see them, just like the stars at night. You can always depend on them to be who he or she is and to follow through.

I know sometimes; more importantly in today’s world, that this can turn into a fling or some disillusionment.

Teams that take these steps are centuries of mankind trying to come together for a definitive purpose. To finally see them coming together to make a statement in front of their family and friends. Where they make history with a rite of passage and celebration. To hold each other so dear and close. This was always down the road, and everyone here knows that this is not the easy way out. So as these and many more of the memories to come and linger on for years I wish the world a strong and healthy life.

Marriage is dedication, the battling of life together. It is poetry. It is love songs. The union can be dreams. Reality and fantasy… Bonded, together… In my opinion…

Happy… Forever…

As Always…

Stay Positive!

“Realization”


What do i need

To remember who i am

my past has shown me a future

i wish to strive for

unearth

finding myself in a process

I’m torn

its not settling right

good / evil

my innards not properly lit

too many shadows

too many unfinished walls

concrete pits

shaky foundation

unstable

in one too many directions

I’m lost in it

the unsettling

it doesnt sit right

haunted by my life

I can tell its gone

I know

I didn’t love it right

© Da Absentee 2015

As Always…

Stay Positive!

Everywhere I Go…


Everywhere I go
No matter where I go
I know I take you with me…

wherever I go
no matter where I go
I know your here with me…

I live our memories
I carry you in my heart
wherever I go…

your always with me
everywhere I go
wherever I go…

unbeknownst the layers are thick
bloodline carry unique demographic

roads traveled; long
I don`t understand the words
automatic somethings we build on

heart in tune
the rhythm to my spine
I understand… undeniable time

working all day
with stress piling on
caffeinated drink in my hand
that’s not going cut it for too long
got you on my back telling me I’m wrong
feel like a slave
and I need me a song
cuz im here holding on
and with that said “I’m goin carry on”

you left me in the flames of the day light
knowing you weren’t going to extinguish me by night
seeking for at least one way to get right
but I`m alright

and I see and I know
i`m at peace with no fear
i`m ready to go
the devil is calling
my clock ticks slow
clouds ride and sit low…

everywhere i go…

© Da Absentee 2012

Scribbles – 27


change negative
crossover zero
show the future how to live
shine like lighthouses
in the depth of night
work hard on improving whats wrong
by any means
above and proceed
stay positive…
Is the only thing I choose to plant as a seed

20130601-011651.jpg