Getting Nowhere

-unknown author-

On being a mother;

i shelter and protect, put there needs first

i lose myself and i lose respect.

this is how i became me

i am alone

so where has it gotten me

On being a wife

i gave him all of my life

i am a shadow of my former self

and he dares to tell me

i am not myself

this is how i became me

i am support

but where has it gotten me

On being a friend

i encourage and share my secrets with them

i lose trust and they unbalance my zen

and they say i act like

i am better than them

this is how i became me

i am therapist

but where has it gotten me

On being a co-worker

i work hard and play for the team

i get stepped on and passed over

i am depressed and never listened to

this is how i became me

i am angry

but where has it gotten me

On being me

I give the world a part of me

but i am shunned

and questioned, never given a second look

yet i give life, i give love

i think i am the lady, i am suppose to be

quiet, strong and forgiving

but with all this

this is how i became me

i am an unhappy me

but where has it gotten me?

©️Da Absentee 2011

“Perspective Change”

(Image found on Google added filter)

As Always…

Stay Positive!!


Happy… Forever…

When I first sat down to write this I thought “Oh this is going to be easy!” All I have to do is tell my thoughts to the world and wish them a happy life.

Then it hit me “When you say it like that..” It seems easy enough, but to actually pick and assemble the best set of words and thoughts to say all of that in like 3 minutes. That’s when it gets a little bit harder. How could I… I mean really grasp what I wanted to say.

Praise, Acknowledgement, Family, Commitment and Love in a couple of paragraphs. How could I assure everyone who reads this; to let them know that through the trials, hard times and just life in general; that marriage is a good decision for both parties, that this is how it is meant to be. That “Love can conquer all”  it just needs respect & reverence to keep it in line. To be able to tell newlyweds that this is a symbol, a contract, unyielding and completely binding. A true test of forever.

Some people could never share and discuss their lives with friends like they can family. Now when I say family, I mean there’s no way you can deny this person of being who they are to you. When you say loyal, supportive, stubborn, a down right pain in the ….,  someone to never skimp words and always tell you when your wrong or right, stand by you in a fight. To always be there even if you can’t see them, just like the stars at night. You can always depend on them to be who he or she is and to follow through.

I know sometimes; more importantly in today’s world, that this can turn into a fling or some disillusionment.

Teams that take these steps are centuries of mankind trying to come together for a definitive purpose. To finally see them coming together to make a statement in front of their family and friends. Where they make history with a rite of passage and celebration. To hold each other so dear and close. This was always down the road, and everyone here knows that this is not the easy way out. So as these and many more of the memories to come and linger on for years I wish the world a strong and healthy life.

Marriage is dedication, the battling of life together. It is poetry. It is love songs. The union can be dreams. Reality and fantasy… Bonded, together… In my opinion…

Happy… Forever…

As Always…

Stay Positive!


What do i need

To remember who i am

my past has shown me a future

i wish to strive for


finding myself in a process

I’m torn

its not settling right

good / evil

my innards not properly lit

too many shadows

too many unfinished walls

concrete pits

shaky foundation


in one too many directions

I’m lost in it

the unsettling

it doesnt sit right

haunted by my life

I can tell its gone

I know

I didn’t love it right

© Da Absentee 2015

As Always…

Stay Positive!

Everywhere I Go…

Everywhere I go
No matter where I go
I know I take you with me…

wherever I go
no matter where I go
I know your here with me…

I live our memories
I carry you in my heart
wherever I go…

your always with me
everywhere I go
wherever I go…

unbeknownst the layers are thick
bloodline carry unique demographic

roads traveled; long
I don`t understand the words
automatic somethings we build on

heart in tune
the rhythm to my spine
I understand… undeniable time

working all day
with stress piling on
caffeinated drink in my hand
that’s not going cut it for too long
got you on my back telling me I’m wrong
feel like a slave
and I need me a song
cuz im here holding on
and with that said “I’m goin carry on”

you left me in the flames of the day light
knowing you weren’t going to extinguish me by night
seeking for at least one way to get right
but I`m alright

and I see and I know
i`m at peace with no fear
i`m ready to go
the devil is calling
my clock ticks slow
clouds ride and sit low…

everywhere i go…

© Da Absentee 2012

Scribbles – 27

change negative
crossover zero
show the future how to live
shine like lighthouses
in the depth of night
work hard on improving whats wrong
by any means
above and proceed
stay positive…
Is the only thing I choose to plant as a seed


“My Mother – 1”



I survey the scene

one like this doesn’t take hours to make

this is dedication and planning

a labor of love that’s too demanding

too fierce

too free

she needs some restriction

because this is crazy…

I told her that she needs to downsize

she just laughed at me

christmas all year

and you’re not a christmas store

the floor like this

this is a hoard

a stash

decorations and bows

wreaths and garlands

curtains and china…

talk about service

she could cater the democrat

and republican conventions

all on the same night

the collection of silverware and plates


this can’t be sane

half the time

I never plan on staying for more than 4 nights

its move this

pack this

place this here

did you run the errands

and my tools

they around here somewhere…

she have the house so done up

its more like bound to me

boxes and chairs

mattresses and  don’t you dear forget

the christmas trees

of her own creation

her own application

and methodic fabrication

2 ten foot

2 eight foot

2 six-foot

strategically placed…

decorated and laden

to the T

don’t mess with this woman

when she is in the zone

she is a robot

a drone

if she could

you would marvel at what this almost 70-year-old

could do

on her own

the woman has no fear…

I stand and hate

but admire the clutter I see

how can I just ignore this woman

she has done so much for me

i`m glad she` s my mother

but this unbelievable

sometimes senseless hobby

has to cease…


Da Absentee © 2011


I really don’t put people in my family into writing, but sometimes it’s the only thing i can do. She has a problem that no one else wants to call her on. (talking about my siblings) I have told her it’s a waste. No one is going to continue this after she’s gone. It’s time to leave it alone.

As Always…

Stay Positive!